1.
Change yourself:
“You
must be the change you want to see in the world.”
“As human
beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that
is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”
If you
change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then
you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around
you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through
new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can
allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought
about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.
2. You
are in control:
“Nobody
can hurt me without my permission.”
What you
feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a
“normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just
all it is. You can
choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You
don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not
every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an
old thought habit kicks in.
And as you
realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you
can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life.
3.
Forgive and let it go:
“The
weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye
for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
Fighting
evil with evil won’t help anyone.
4.
Without action you aren’t going anywhere:
“An
ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”
Without
taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and
difficult. There can be much inner resistance. And so you
may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says. Or reading and studying endlessly. And
feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results
in real life.
5. Take
care of this moment:
“I do
not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.”
The best
way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from
taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be
accepting. Why? Well,
when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that
you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you
imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of
your actions loses its power.
6.
Everyone is human:
“I claim
to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own,
however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my
steps.”
“It is
unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that
the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”
When you
start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced
extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them.
You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did
because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that
everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.
7.
Persist:
“First
they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”
Be persistent.
In time the opposition around you will fade and fall away. And your inner
resistance and self-sabotaging tendencies that want to hold you back and keep
you like you have always been will grow weaker.
8. See
the good in people and help them:
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being
faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”
“Man
becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his
fellow-men.”
“I
suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along
with people.”
There is
pretty much always something good in people. And things that may not be so
good. But you can choose what things to focus on. And if you want improvement
then focusing on the good in people is a useful choice. It also makes life
easier for you as your world and relationships become more pleasant and
positive.
9. Be
congruent, be authentic, be your true self:
“Happiness
is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
“Always
aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying
your thoughts and everything will be well.”
I think
that one of the best tips for improving your social skills is to behave in a
congruent manner and communicate in an authentic way. People seem to really
like authentic communication. And there is much inner enjoyment to be found
when your thoughts, words and actions are aligned. You feel powerful and good
about yourself.
10.
Continue to grow and evolve:
”Constant
development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his
dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”
You can
pretty much always improve your skills, habits or re-evaluate your evaluations.
You can gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world. Sure, you
may look inconsistent or like you don’t know what you are doing from time to
time. You may have trouble to act congruently or to communicate authentically.
But if you don’t then you will, as Gandhi says, drive yourself into a false
position. A place where you try to uphold or cling to your old views to appear
consistent while you realize within that something is wrong. It’s not a fun
place to be. To choose to grow and evolve is a happier and more useful path to
take.
Parent Link: Positivity Blog