Most of us like and admire courageous people. We want to be like them -- or at least feel like them. We want to never have to suffer fear, self-doubt, or anxiety again. The problem is that most of us will never experience this perfect 'fearless' self. That sort of courage might exist in story books and movies, but it is not real.
Most researchers and psychologists now agree that courage is not the absence of fear -- courage is taking action in the presence of fear. It is pressing and pushing on -- despite the feelings of fear -- because you have a goal that you believe in, something that tells you it's worth the discomfort and the effort. So many people feel bad about themselves for being afraid or anxious. They think that 'courageous' people just don't have these emotions. But they do. The real difference is that courageous people just don't allow their feelings of fear prevent them from doing what they really want to do. Courageous people do uncomfortable, knee-shaking things all the time, and they, too, feel fear. It's just that they consider their fear and discomfort to be a necessary part of living a full life, and so they push on, in spite of it.
Driving for the first time can be both intimidating and exciting. The first day at school or in a new job can be absolutely terrifying! Yet fear is part of what makes these experiences meaningful. As Mark Twain once said, 'Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear'. One of the most important things to understand about fear, is that it is never going to completely go away. It's part of every single human being's emotional vocabulary, our repertoire of feelings. Doing something really new, daring, or important, is challenging, and will often bring with it those uncomfortable feelings we call 'fear'.
Most researchers and psychologists now agree that courage is not the absence of fear -- courage is taking action in the presence of fear. It is pressing and pushing on -- despite the feelings of fear -- because you have a goal that you believe in, something that tells you it's worth the discomfort and the effort. So many people feel bad about themselves for being afraid or anxious. They think that 'courageous' people just don't have these emotions. But they do. The real difference is that courageous people just don't allow their feelings of fear prevent them from doing what they really want to do. Courageous people do uncomfortable, knee-shaking things all the time, and they, too, feel fear. It's just that they consider their fear and discomfort to be a necessary part of living a full life, and so they push on, in spite of it.
Driving for the first time can be both intimidating and exciting. The first day at school or in a new job can be absolutely terrifying! Yet fear is part of what makes these experiences meaningful. As Mark Twain once said, 'Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear'. One of the most important things to understand about fear, is that it is never going to completely go away. It's part of every single human being's emotional vocabulary, our repertoire of feelings. Doing something really new, daring, or important, is challenging, and will often bring with it those uncomfortable feelings we call 'fear'.
Merely seeking to avoid fear triggers -- spiders, career changes, public speaking or a critical in-law, for example -- really isn't a solution. Run, and you'll be forever running. Instead, try to face your feelings of vulnerability, and see them as a crucial part of being human -- courageous and daring -- even if it means opening up to judgement, hurt or disappointment.Being daring is all about leaving your comfort zone and jumping into the arena of life. Choosing to live how you really want to, and allowing yourself to be yourself, can be uncomfortable at times. Understanding and accepting your feelings of discomfort are the first steps to being truly courageous. What gives a person courage can be deceptively simple at times. When you are feeling challenged in reaching a goal, realizing a dream, or making a decision (be it asking someone out on a date or climbing Mount Everest), sitting down and scribbling a list of what you need in order to move forward can be really helpful.
If you want to be a writer, and you haven't written anything since high school, then of course writing a novel is bound to feel overwhelming, even terrifying. What about joining a writer's group, or taking a single weekend workshop in writing where you'll meet others struggling with similar difficulties? The trick lies in beginning -- and then keeping on. Take things one chunk, one step at a time. Begin with those first few steps and let yourself be surprised by your own ability.
Perhaps you need more support, a change of location, additional training, or simply a fresh, new attitude. Perhaps it's something concrete and basic, like equipment, software, clothes, licensing, or money. What are the first things you need to prepare in order to bring just a bit more courage into your life and help you realize your dreams? Don't let this be an excuse for inaction, telling yourself you just can't do it because you don't have this or that yet. Decide what you need -- and then go for it!
Living courageously takes effort. It takes practice. Each time you do it you will strengthen your inner resolve. Go ahead now -- strike out! You just might surprise yourself.
Author: Peterfield
Website: Peter Field Hypnotherapy