Understanding Low Self-Esteem

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When considering Self-Esteem -  it is important to note that both high and low levels can be emotionally and socially harmful for the individual. Indeed it is thought an optimum level of self-esteem lies in the middle of the continuum. Individuals operating within this range are thought to be more socially dominant within relationships. 

People with high self-esteem focus on growth and improvement, whereas people with low self-esteem focus on not making mistakes in life. Low self-esteem has been shown to be correlated with a number of negative outcomes, such as depression. People with low self-esteem are more troubled by failure and tend to exaggerate events as being negative. For example, they often interpret non critical comments as critical. They are more likely to experience social anxiety and low levels of interpersonal confidence. This in turn makes social interaction with others difficult as they feel awkward, shy, conspicuous, and unable to adequately express themselves when interacting with others. Furthermore, low self-esteem individuals tend to be pessimistic towards people and groups within society.

Most common words used to describe people with Low self-esteem:


  • Withdrawn/shy/quiet
  • Insecure
  • Underachieving
  • Negative (attitude)
  • Unhappy
  • Socially inept
  • Angry/hostile
  • Unmotivated
  • Depressed
  • Dependent/follower
  • Poor self-image
  • Non-risk-taker
  • Lacks elf-confidence
  • Poor communication
  • Acts out


    • It should be noted that on average self-esteem during childhood is found to be relatively high. However, there are individual differences and some children are unfortunate to experience feelings of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem in children tends to be related to physical punishment and withholding of love and affection by parents. Children with low self-esteem rely on coping strategies that are counterproductive such as bullying, quitting, cheating, avoiding etc.

    Although all children will display some of these behaviors at times, low self-esteem is strongly indicated when these behaviors appear with regularity.Socially children with low self-esteem can be withdrawn or shy, and find it difficult to have fun. Although they may have a wide circle of friends they are more likely to yield to group pressure and more vulnerable to being bullied. At school they avoid trying new things (for fear of failure) and will give up easily.

    Self-esteem continues to decline during adolescence (particularly for girls). Researchers have explained this decline to body image and other problems associated with puberty. Although boys and girls report similar levels of self-esteem during childhood, a gender gap emerges by adolescence, in that adolescent boys have higher self-esteem than adolescent girls.Girls with low self-esteem appear to be more vulnerable to perceptions of the ideal body image perpetuated in western media.