The stubborn one who insists you should be someone else:
In the long run, it’s always better to be disrespected for who you are than respected for who you are not. In fact, the only relationships that work well are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing you from outgrowing the person you used to be.
What’s important to remember is that you’re the only person in the world who knows what’s happening inside your head right now. People who don’t know you well may assume you’re someone else entirely. And people who think they know you well may have pigeonholed you – but you know there’s more to you than what they see. You don’t have control over what others think about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize their opinions. Leave them to their own judgments. Don’t feel threatened and don’t conform just to please them. Let people love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. Or let them walk away if they choose. They can’t harm you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours.
The unforgiving friend who refuses to forgive you for your mistakes:
The most honorable thing is not to never make mistakes, but to admit to them when you do make them, and then to follow through and do your best to make the wrong things right. Mistakes are part of growing. They are a natural part of every worthwhile endeavor. If someone refuses to support you as you grow beyond your past mistakes, they are now the one that’s making a mistake. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy and serves no purpose in creating a better day today. If someone continuously judges you by your past, holds it against you, and refuses to forgive you, you might have to repair your present and future by leaving them behind.
The inner critic:
Unrelenting self-criticism often goes hand in hand with unhappiness and anxiety, and it’s completely unjustified. There is no reason to be your own biggest critic – to harp on yourself for your shortcomings. All you really need is the courage to be yourself. Your real value is rooted in who you are, not who you aren’t.
The flaws you often see in yourself are only the qualities of your own individuality. There is something unique and special about you. You are different. You will never be as good as someone else, and they will never be as good as you. Just as no two snowflakes are alike, your fingerprints are different from every other being on Earth. You are meant to be different. You are here to express who you are and enjoy what you have at this very moment. When you accept this, there is no reason to compare yourself to someone or something you aren’t. There is nothing for the inner critic to complain about.
When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, criticize you, and generally resist the truth about who you are, remember, they’re telling you their own sad story, not yours. They’re dumping their own doubts into the air. Ignore them.
If the person doing this is you (your inner critic), try giving up all the thoughts and contemplations that make you feel bad, or even just some of them, for the rest of the day. See how doing that changes your life. You don’t need these negative thoughts. All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.
Author: MARC CHERNOFF
Source: Marc and Angel