Rule One: People don't care much:
People don’t care about you. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves.
A study says, 60% of thoughts are self-directed. My goals. My problems. My feelings. Another 30% are directed towards relationships, but how they affect me. What does Julie think of me? How will boss evaluate my performance in the next review? Do my friends like me or see me as irritating?
Only 10% is the time spent in empathy. Empathy is a rare event where one person actually feels the emotions, problems and perspective of another person. Instead of asking what Julie thinks of me, I ask what is Julie thinking. Within that 10%, most people then divide attention between hundreds of other people they know. As a result, you would occupy a fraction of a percentage in most peoples minds, and only a couple percentage points in a deeply bonded relationship. Even if you are in another persons thoughts, it is how your relationship affects them, not you.
What does this mean?
Embarrassment doesn’t make a lot of sense. Since others are only focusing a small portion of their thoughts onto judging you, your self-judgment is overwhelmingly larger. People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause. Relationships are your job to maintain. Don’t wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you.
Rule Two: People don't always express what they really feel:
Basically this rule means that mostly the intentions behind our actions are hidden. If a person is feeling depressed or angry, usually the resulting behaviors distort their true feelings. If I feel you snubbed me, I might hold my tongue but ignore you later. The old joke is that women use words like, “fine,” and, “go ahead,” when they really feel the opposite. But, men do this too in polite situations, although often not in the same way. The application of this rule is that you need to focus on empathy, not just hearing a person. Demonstrate trust, build rapport and learn to probe a bit. By focusing on empathy you can usually break away these subversions and get to the heart of the issue faster.
Rule Three: People Have Poor Memories:
Ever been told someone’s name at a party and then forgot it later? Another rule of human behavior is that people have trouble remembering things. Especially information (as you’ll recall in rule one) that doesn’t apply to themselves. People are more likely to remember your similarities than your differences (unless they were emotionally incensed by them).
People are forgetful by nature, so once again, don’t assume malice or disinterest if something is forgotten. The other side of this rule is that you can demonstrate reliability by having a good memory.
Author of the Source article : Scotthyoung