Rule Four: People behavior is largely dictated by Selfish Altruism:
To say everyone is completely selfish is a gross exaggeration. That ignores all the acts of kindness, sacrifice and love that make the world work. But most behaviors do work from the principles of selfish altruism. Selfish altruism is basically win/win. It is where helping you directly or indirectly helps me. There are a couple main categories where this applies:
Transactions - If I purchase a car, both myself and the dealer benefit. I get a vehicle, which I want. The dealer gets money to improve his lifestyle. This is the predominant form of selfish altruism between people who don’t have emotional bonds.
Familial - Blood is thicker than water. We are designed to protect people who share our genes. This can sometimes shift towards extremely close friends and loved ones.
Status - Helping someone is a sign of power. Many species of primates will offer assistance as a sign of dominance. People act similarly, offering aid to boost their self-esteem and reputation.
Implied Reciprocity – Many relationships are based on the idea that if I help you, one day you will help me as well.
Occasionally behavior falls outside this group. Nameless heroes dying for causes that don’t help their bloodline. Volunteers devoting their time towards humanitarian missions. But these are the minority, whereas most actions can be explained by some form of selfish altruism.
So, don’t expect people to offer aid outside of selfish altruism, it isn’t impossible, but it isn’t likely.
Rule Five: Everyone is Emotional:
Perhaps this is an exaggeration. But the core of the message is that people tend to have stronger feelings about something than they let on. So, it's better not to assume everything is fine just because someone isn’t having a nervous breakdown. We all have our individual problems, angst and upsets that are normally contained. You don’t need to call people out on their private deception, but being sensitive to those underlying currents gives you an advantage in trying to help.
The alternate application of this rule is: People generally assume everything is fine unless you just had a blowup.
Rule Six: People are Lonely:
It is amazing, how many people who seem to have it all, suffer from bouts of loneliness. As social animals, people are especially sensitive to any threats to becoming ostracized. In Neanderthal times, exile meant death, so loneliness and the desire to be with other people is a strong one.
The application of this rule is that loneliness is fairly common, so in that sense, you really aren’t alone.
Author of the Source article: ScottHYoung