3 ways people use to control You - An understanding

1. Threatening through Withdrawal of Love:

One of the best combinations of manipulation through carrot and stick is threatening you with withdrawal of money, love, fame, affection, etc. when you don’t do what is expected from you and promising you all those things when you do it. You can look in private and professional areas, and you will find, that this method of leverage is very often used.

You will stay late in the office because you feel the threat of not getting the raise otherwise or being let down. That leverage is also used very often in raising up children (unfortunately) by directly mentioning the withdrawal of love to the child. This is one of the most frightening consequences for a young child and can do so much harm that it may take a lifetime to recover (if at all).

In relationship there is a (sometimes sublime) threat of losing affection. That is why people do a lot of strange things in relationships.

Of course also in Marketing this has been used: behind it is the mechanism of installing fear of loss and the only prevention is buying the product. Insurance companies make billions through this. And also a lot of other companies use it too.

2. Installing Guilt:

Installing guilt is another great tool of making you do things others want from you.

But what is guilt in itself?

It is a negative feeling that you are expected to experience when you have violated a common agreed rule. Now really ask yourself whether you consciously agreed to that rule and whether that rule is really valid and useful for both sides. Very often these rules are defined by one side and are only there to serve your further enslavement.

3. Adding Urgency and Importance:

Another method of others to manipulate you to do something they want, is to make it urgent and or important. Categorizing tasks in to do lists in different categories of urgent and/or important has always been one of the key concepts of time management. But let’s face it, who decides about importance and urgency of tasks. Most of the time it is the importance and urgency that others put on it and is depending on how much leverage they can use on you through their different tools (like the threat of withdrawing something). 

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