To be in control is a good thing. To be controlling is not. There is a big difference.
Understand The Controlling Behavior:
People who try to control others are themselves out of control – in their mind that is. Often, they have many conflicting thoughts which create havoc in their mind. They will then latch on to that which they know they can control thus making them feel better. It is kind of a protection for them.
Whatever is going on for them is never about you. Human nature allows us to take things like this personally. Don’t. Remember, they are doing this for their own sense of inner control, but doing it via outward expression.
Being a control freak is a compulsion. Recognize that it began for them long before you showed up. In other words they try to do it to everyone.
More often than not, control freaks have low self esteem. They do not have enough inner trust to handle outcomes other than the ones they plan.
Control freaks never want to appear vulnerable. But in fact they are.
Understand The Controlling Behavior:
People who try to control others are themselves out of control – in their mind that is. Often, they have many conflicting thoughts which create havoc in their mind. They will then latch on to that which they know they can control thus making them feel better. It is kind of a protection for them.
Whatever is going on for them is never about you. Human nature allows us to take things like this personally. Don’t. Remember, they are doing this for their own sense of inner control, but doing it via outward expression.
Being a control freak is a compulsion. Recognize that it began for them long before you showed up. In other words they try to do it to everyone.
More often than not, control freaks have low self esteem. They do not have enough inner trust to handle outcomes other than the ones they plan.
Control freaks never want to appear vulnerable. But in fact they are.
Be In Alignment With Your Values:
Don’t engage with them. Do not allow yourself to fall into the same behavior you are trying to avoid. Situations like this aren’t about winning. Or at least they shouldn’t be from your end. Do what you need to do in an unfavorable situation whether that is hanging up the phone, walking away or not responding to an email. These are subtle reminders to that person, that what they are doing is not ok with you. Remember people do what works. When you stop allowing it they stop doing it. It won’t be overnight but it will happen.
Do not react. Knowing now what you do about control freaks, when they become aggressive take off your armor. Show them you are not a threat to them and you just want to help. You can do this by simply remaining calm no matter how much turmoil they are trying to create. This more than anything shows great strength.
Trust Yourself:
Self trust is crucial. When you trust in you, all fear goes by the wayside. Knowing you can handle whatever comes sets you apart from failure. Not everything works out exactly as planned. When you trust yourself it doesn’t matter. You know that there is a deeper meaning and move on. You don’t dwell and fret and stew over it you simply learn from it and proceed with the next thing.
With self trust you don’t take these things personally. You accept what is and remain calm and intact.
Trust Yourself:
Self trust is crucial. When you trust in you, all fear goes by the wayside. Knowing you can handle whatever comes sets you apart from failure. Not everything works out exactly as planned. When you trust yourself it doesn’t matter. You know that there is a deeper meaning and move on. You don’t dwell and fret and stew over it you simply learn from it and proceed with the next thing.
With self trust you don’t take these things personally. You accept what is and remain calm and intact.
Decision making becomes easy and self confidence builds with inner trust.
Author and Credits: Suzanne Jones