Step 1: Understand, Love comes without any condition. All else is Business.
Make it clear to yourself and others that love never asks for anything you have to do, in order to get it. If someone really loves you, that love should be given unconditionally. That is especially true with the love of parents to a child. Whenever there is a condition to it – it is not love. It’s a business deal where someone wants you to do something and promises to give you something back that will make you feel good. However don’t mix that up with love. And it is ok to do those deals. If you can accept it as it is and don’t think that it is about love, then you are free to accept or reject the deal.
Make it clear to yourself and others that love never asks for anything you have to do, in order to get it. If someone really loves you, that love should be given unconditionally. That is especially true with the love of parents to a child. Whenever there is a condition to it – it is not love. It’s a business deal where someone wants you to do something and promises to give you something back that will make you feel good. However don’t mix that up with love. And it is ok to do those deals. If you can accept it as it is and don’t think that it is about love, then you are free to accept or reject the deal.
Step 2: Love Yourself As a Strong Foundation
Of course you should make sure that you have some source of unconditional love (if possible parents, your partner and your children) but the most important source for yourself are you. You need to love yourself without any condition upfront. Accept yourself as you are and don’t put any conditions on that.
If you can honestly say “I love myself.” … and not add “because …” or “when …” behind it, then you have a strong base and should not feel threatened by someone else's games of “Love”-withdrawal.
You should wake up and say “I love myself” and you should really feel it. Whenever you look at yourself, you should think it. This is not about narcism but about developing a healthy self-respect and self-love that are the basis of any form of personal power. So don’t laugh about it. Do it.
Step 3: Get clear about the consequences
It comes then to the point where you need to get clear about the possible consequences and your options.
You need to ask yourself 3 questions:
What is the real price to pay if I do or don’t do this thing?
Am I willing to accept this kind of deal?