You need to ask yourself 3 questions:
What is the real price to pay if I do or don’t do this thing?
Am I willing to accept this kind of deal?
What options do I have?
What is the real price to pay if I do or don’t do this thing?
Am I willing to accept this kind of deal?
What options do I have?
Question 1: What Is the Real Price to Pay if I Do or Don’t Do It?
No matter what decision there is in front of you, there is always a price to pay – if you do a thing or if you don’t.
Leaving your job early to have enough time with your family might lead to you not getting the raise you wanted. Staying at the job late and not spending time with your family might lead to several problems with your loved ones including possible divorce or drifting away from being in touch with your kids.
But you have to make sure, that you are in control of your time, and that you are the only one being able to decide where to put your focus on.
No matter what decision there is in front of you, there is always a price to pay – if you do a thing or if you don’t.
Leaving your job early to have enough time with your family might lead to you not getting the raise you wanted. Staying at the job late and not spending time with your family might lead to several problems with your loved ones including possible divorce or drifting away from being in touch with your kids.
But you have to make sure, that you are in control of your time, and that you are the only one being able to decide where to put your focus on.
You could go to your boss and tell him, that you need more time with your family and that you would like to restructure your work, so you could manage to do more in less time. You could spend quality time with your family while at the same time explaining to them that you need to spend a certain amount of time at work. If you communicate on an honest level with them, they will understand it.
Question 2: Am I Willing to Accept This Kind of Deal?
Now someone else tried to negotiate a deal with you (although they don’t want you to see it that way, since it takes away a lot of power from them). You must find out, whether you want to go with that deal. Often it comes in an either-or form. At this point, you know the price to pay for that deal, and now you must find out whether the whole deal is acceptable to you. If not, you should tell them and be willing to pay the price for not following their way of reasoning.
Question 3: What Options Do I Have and What Are Their Prices?
Make sure you know all the options (not only the few presented by the other person). So of course not accepting the deal is an option. However maybe you can come up with an alternative that will keep you happy and the other person as well. If you detach yourself from the threatening need for love you can think much more creative and can come up with much better options.
Step 4: Decide!
Make a Decision and Stick With It and Its Consequences
After you have evaluated all the options, you are then free to decide which way to go. You should know that you MUST make a decision. Even not deciding is a decision and will have an associated price to pay. But if you detached yourself from the threat of “Love”-withdrawal then you are much more capable to make a good decision for all persons involved.
State your decision clearly and let the other person know that it was a real decision (meaning you won’t allow them to threaten you further since you are willing to pay the price associated with that decision).
Author and Credits: Patrick