Your Coping Mechanism
One of the biggest problems with quitting an addiction is that you use it to cope with real problems. When you are stressed, or sick, or sad, or depressed, or going through a crisis, or lonely, or need to socialize in an uncomfortable situation … you use the addiction to cope.
But it’s only a crutch. You can cope without it. You just need to find new strategies.
A few strategies for coping that might help:
One of the biggest problems with quitting an addiction is that you use it to cope with real problems. When you are stressed, or sick, or sad, or depressed, or going through a crisis, or lonely, or need to socialize in an uncomfortable situation … you use the addiction to cope.
But it’s only a crutch. You can cope without it. You just need to find new strategies.
A few strategies for coping that might help:
- Stress: Learn to use exercise, meditation, and simplifying as ways to cope with stress. Going for a run or a walk can help tremendously. Talking to other people about your stressful problems also help. So does a mindful cup of tea.
- Sad: When you feel sad, find things in your life to be grateful for. Connect with your loved ones. Acknowledge your feelings and realize that it’s OK to be sad sometimes — it reminds you that you’re human. Then take action and find something you are passionate about.
- Lonely: Actually, while most people would seek the company of others (which isn’t a bad idea), learn to keep your own company. You are great company when you want to be — You play, you imagine, you write and read and meditate and learn.
- Crisis: When there’s a crisis, does leaning on an unhealthy addiction actually make it better? Only in that it gives you a temporary reprieve (going out to have a smoke or a drink) or temporary pleasure (having a cupcake or soda). They don’t take care of the problem, and can actually make it worse (try solving a crisis while inebriated). Instead, allow yourself the reprieve without the addiction — take a walk or meditate. Getting away from the crisis, even for a few minutes, can give you a breather and some perspective. Then figure out what you can do, let go of what you can’t control, and take one action.
- Need to socialize: Often we use smoking or drinking or eating as ways to lubricate awkward social situations. But they’re just crutches — you can actually do without them and get stronger without them. You can socialize without these things — try it once and see. You’ll get better at socializing if you do without the crutches.
- Sick: Unhealthy addictions don’t help you when you’re sick. Shoveling junk food into your face when you’re sick (I’ve done it many times) might make you feel comforted, but you aren’t doing your health any favors. Instead, nurture yourself. Give yourself some healthier food to fuel the healing process. Give yourself a rest, and a hug.
These strategies can work, if you believe you can do without the addictions.
Author and Credits: Leo Babauta
Author and Credits: Leo Babauta