It feels much nicer to love others, than to get dragged down with dislike or hatred. When we try to get along with people the best we can – it makes our interactions with others more pleasant, precious, and enjoyable. But as human beings, it’s natural that there will be times when we feel upset towards others. Some people feel upset towards others on a daily basis – in the traffic jam, the office, the supermarket, and over dinner with their family.
When we feel that someone has hurt us, it’s very easy to mentally lash out at them and conclude that they must be a bad person for how they’ve made us feel. But what if they’re only behaving the way they are because of the pain that they’re carrying around?
When we feel that someone has hurt us, it’s very easy to mentally lash out at them and conclude that they must be a bad person for how they’ve made us feel. But what if they’re only behaving the way they are because of the pain that they’re carrying around?
We’re all carrying around so much pain, aren’t we? But we weren’t taught at school how to deal with it in a healthy way, so we just bottle it up and often end up taking it out on each other.
But remember, if someone’s making you suffer, they must be suffering themselves.
But remember, if someone’s making you suffer, they must be suffering themselves.
Generally, if someone is happy and fulfilled in life, they wouldn’t wish unhappiness on others. They wouldn’t wish to drag you down or cause you pain. The people who hurt or annoy you behave like that towards you, precisely because they’re suffering – they’re miserable and they don’t know how else to express it, so you get the brunt of it.
But it’s not personal to you! In fact, in a way, it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever.
Everything your enemy says is all about him or her. Even if someone says they don’t like you, they’re telling you something about them – about how they feel about them.
When people cry, we can see their pain, so we give them a hug. But when they express their pain in anger, we take it personally, because it feels as if they’re assaulting us. That’s a natural response, it wouldn’t make sense to stay around an angry and potentially violent group member, so our instinctive ‘flight or fight’ response removes us from potential danger.
Author and Credits: Julie Farrell - Author