We need to understand that people only get angry because their wishes have been thwarted. If they were happy and content, they would be smiling. They’re angry because there’s something gone wrong for them. They’re misguided. They think happiness comes from whatever it is that they’re wishing for, at that moment.
Money, reputation, a nice partner, not having to wait in line, wanting something done on their terms right now, or simply the desire to bolster their ego by belittling others. The only reason people speak to you with anger, is because they’re suffering, and you just happened to be in the line of fire. And I’m not saying that you should put up with people being horrible to you. Of course you shouldn’t. But, if you can turn it around, and see their pain, rather than just thinking ‘how does this affect me’, then you’ll find it easier to keep peace of mind – and not lose your own happiness. You’ll be able to respond in a calmer, more rational way. And other people respect those sorts of people, don’t they!
But – you might argue – everyone knows it’s bad manners to be rude, don’t they? Well actually, not everyone knows that. We’re not all born with the same book of rules. We needed to be taught those things. Maybe, when your adversary was young, they saw his or her parents getting ahead by being like that, so they just assumed that was a good way to behave.
We are all human beings and we all have feelings. Even the people who seem to be trampling on yours.
If we could see into the past of our enemy – if we could know what their childhood was like – we’d realize that they’ve had just as much of a tough time as we’ve had. If we could see into their past, we’d immediately develop compassion for them. It would be impossible for us to feel any hostility towards them anymore, because we’d understand that they’re just the same as we are – misguided at times, and in pain; simply wanting to be happy, but not really knowing how to gain that happiness. Frustrated. A bit stuck.
Imagine what it’s like for that angry person, living with all that bitterness. Next time someone upsets you, try to imagine them as a frightened, insecure little girl or boy. That’s what they are when they’re like that. Just like most of us are. We need to find healthy ways to deal with the stuff that makes us afraid, angry, and hurt. We need to be gentle with the other people’s feelings, and also with our own, because we are all precious, and we all have the right to be happy in this beautiful world.
Author and Credits: Julie Farrell