Happiness: everyone wants it, yet relatively few seem to get enough of it, especially those in their early forties.
Good news and bad news: unfortunately, approximately 50 percent of your happiness, your "happiness set-point," is determined by personality traits that are largely hereditary. Half of how happy you feel is basically outside your control.
But, that means 50 percent of your level of happiness is totally within your control: relationships, health, career, etc. So even if you're genetically disposed to be somewhat gloomy, you can still do things to make yourself a lot happier.
1. Make good friends.
It's easy to focus on building a professional network of partners, customers, employees, connections, etc, because there is (hopefully) a payoff.
But there's a definite payoff to making real (not just professional or social media) friends. Increasing your number of real friends correlates to higher subjective well being. Make friends outside of work. Make friends at work. Make friends everywhere.
Make real friends. You'll live a longer, happier life.
2. Actively express thankfulness.
According to one study, couples that expressed gratitude in their interactions with each other resulted in increases in relationship connection and satisfaction the next day--both for the person expressing thankfulness and (no big surprise) for the person receiving it. (In fact, the authors of the study said gratitude was like a "booster shot" for relationships.)
Of course the same is true at work. Express gratitude for employee's hard work and you both feel better about yourselves.
Another easy method is to write down a few things you are grateful for every night. One study showed people who wrote down 5 things they were thankful for once a week were 25 percent happier after ten weeks; in effect they dramatically increased their happiness set-point.
Happy people focus on what they have, not on what they don't have. It's motivating to want more in your career, relationships, bank account, etc. but thinking about what you already have, and expressing gratitude for it, will make you a lot happier.
And will remind you that even if you still have huge dreams you have already accomplished a lot--and should feel genuinely proud.
3. Actively pursue your goals.
Goals you don't pursue aren't goals, they're dreams, and dreams only make you happy when you're dreaming.
Pursuing goals, though, does make you happy. According to David Niven, author of 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life, "People who could identify a goal they were pursuing were 19% more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more likely to feel positive about themselves."
So be grateful for what you have... then actively try to achieve more. If you're pursuing a huge goal, make sure that every time you take a small step closer to achieving it you pat yourself on the back.
But don't compare where you are now to where you someday hope to be. Compare where you are now to where you were a few days ago. Then you'll get dozens of bite-sized chunks of fulfillment--and a never-ending supply of things to be thankful for.
4. Do what you excel at as often as you can.
You know the old cliché regarding the starving yet happy artist? Turns out it's true: artists are considerably more satisfied with their work than non-artists--even though the pay tends to be considerably lower than in other skilled fields.
The more you enjoy what you do and the more fulfilled you feel by what you do, the happier you will be.
Everyone has at least a few things they do incredibly well. Find ways to do those things more often. You'll be a lot happier.
Author and Credits: JEFF HADEN