Definition
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Infatuation is the state of being completely lost in the
emotion of unreasoning desire.
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A decision to commit oneself to another and to work
through conflicts instead of giving up.
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Associated with
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Selfish uncontrollable desire.
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Physical chemistry over a fairly long period of time.
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Sub-Categories
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Short lived physical desire, crush, lust, hormonal
activity, or addictive chemical reactions in the brain. Not revived with the
same person without a deeper feeling.
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Intimacy, commitment, security, the desire to please and
help the other person.
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Symptoms
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Urgency, intensity, physical desire, anxiety, high risk
choices, reckless abandonment of what was once valued.
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Faithfulness, loyalty, confidence. Willingness to make
sacrifices for another. Working at settling differences. Able to compromise
so that either both win or at least give the other person's opinion a chance.
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Person to Person
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Reckless commitment to satisfy one's all consuming lust.
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Commitment to another. Genuine intentions. Think about
other person's feelings before acting.
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Feels like
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All-consuming euphoria similar to recreational drug use
(addictive chemical reactions in the brain), stupidity (cupidity). Can risk
everything for the next hit of adrenalin.
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A deep affection, contentment, confidence. Partners
communicate and negotiate appropriate expectations. Requires a lot of
selflessness and polite assertiveness. You are loving your best friend.
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Result
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Emptiness, consequences of choices made while under the
influence of mind numbing temporary lust.
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Security, peace, a solid partnership which can provide the
ideal atmosphere to raise confident secure children.
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Effect
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Being controlled by brain chemistry, not the heart, loss
of ability to make rational evaluations of what is true, valuable and worthy.
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Contentment, stability.
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Interdependency
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Cannot be sustained without some portion of love and
physical attraction. Desire to be always close to that person at any cost.
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Partnership. Can lead to codependency if not tempered with
self-awareness and self-guidedness.
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Time Period
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Takes off fast and furious like a spark in dry grass burns
out quickly and can leave feelings of emptiness.
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It will deepen with the passsage of time.
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Commitment
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This is temporary in life and goes off after some period.
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This is permanent commitment and stays throughout the
life.
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Bottom Line
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Infatuation is delusional. Not real.
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Love is unconditional and the real deal.
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Patience
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Infatuation is of the now.
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Love is a gradual process. It happens over time.
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