4. No excuses
We find it very easy to justify choices we feel uncomfortable with. “Oh I just had to have some cake, it would have been rude not to.” No, polite refusal is not in any way rude. “I must have a drink otherwise people will think I’m boring.” If you are a boring person, no amount of drinking, smoking, eating or creating havoc will make you interesting. Sorry.
5. Understand people’s methods
Whether consciously or subconsciously, people use a number of different methods to exert peer pressure. These include, but are not limited to:
(a) Camaraderie: ”The fact that you smoke is what makes you part of our exclusive, fun-loving group.”
(b) Misrepresentation: “Your decision not to drink is the equivalent of social suicide.”
(c) Intimidation/ punishment: “Ever since you stopped staying out late you’ve turned into such a bore. If you go on like this we are going to stop asking you along.”
(d) Reward/ temptation: “Think of that yummy ice cream you’ll be missing out. Go on then, it’s on me!”
By recognizing people’s tactics, you will be in a position to deal with them.
We find it very easy to justify choices we feel uncomfortable with. “Oh I just had to have some cake, it would have been rude not to.” No, polite refusal is not in any way rude. “I must have a drink otherwise people will think I’m boring.” If you are a boring person, no amount of drinking, smoking, eating or creating havoc will make you interesting. Sorry.
5. Understand people’s methods
Whether consciously or subconsciously, people use a number of different methods to exert peer pressure. These include, but are not limited to:
(a) Camaraderie: ”The fact that you smoke is what makes you part of our exclusive, fun-loving group.”
(b) Misrepresentation: “Your decision not to drink is the equivalent of social suicide.”
(c) Intimidation/ punishment: “Ever since you stopped staying out late you’ve turned into such a bore. If you go on like this we are going to stop asking you along.”
(d) Reward/ temptation: “Think of that yummy ice cream you’ll be missing out. Go on then, it’s on me!”
By recognizing people’s tactics, you will be in a position to deal with them.
6. Understand people’s motives
Friends may try to influence you into doing something bad because they are doing it too. If they feel insecure about their excess weight, they take comfort in the fact that you, their best friend whom they love and admire, also has a weight problem. If you start losing weight they may feel jealous or betrayed. Your success may make them feel like failures.
7. Talk
Once you understand both your own objectives and other people’s motives, you can try talking to them about your changing behaviour and the reasons behind it. Give others a chance to voice their concerns, but keep the conversation focused on you. Try not to accuse people or force them to face insecurities they may not be in a position to accept. And remember: it is only worth talking to people who are important to you. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone who is not.
8. Start small
Just like anything else, dealing with peer pressure takes practice. Don’t intimidate yourself by saying “I will never have another drink”. That is limiting, scary and may also be unnecessary once you learn to drink in moderation. Just say to yourself “I will not drink tonight”. The next day, you can re-examine the situation and decide whether or not you want to drink that day. Whatever your decision is, it will depend on what you want to do, not on what others tell you to do.
9. Avoid temptation
At first you may need to deliberately avoid temptation. For example, if you know you eat a lot when you go out with a specific friend, do not go out with them at meal times. Ask them to go to the cinema instead, or to play a sport with you. Once you have redefined your relationship with them, you will no longer associate that person with your bad habit. Avoid people who refuse to understand your objectives.
10. Be a leader
Peer pressure does not only work in negative ways. Why not motivate your friends to start thinking constructively? For example, if you are giving up smoking, try to give up with a friend. Not only will you be avoiding negative pressure from them, but you will be turning things around for both of you.
In making these changes, you may need to start alone. But in time your friends (old or new) will wish to follow your positive example. Why be a pushover when you can be a role model?
Source:
Wikipedia/ Les Petits Secrets