The easier it is to join something the less it means to you. A true sense of belonging comes from giving, self-sacrifice, and effort.
To belong you must share a common experience — the tougher the experience, the better.
Our parents were well intentioned but wrong: We can’t be whatever we want to be. We can all achieve amazing things, but we can’t do everything we set our minds to. Genetics, disposition, and luck play a part too.
The key is to know yourself and then work to be the best you can be based on your unique set of advantages and limitations.
Say you decide you want to run a marathon. Fine -- with enough training almost anyone is capable. But say you're a guy who weighs a muscular 250 pounds and you want to finish in less than 2 hours and 30 minutes. That's just not going to happen; you’re not made that way and the attempt will leave you discouraged, defeated, and unhappy.
What you achieve isn’t nearly as important as achieving something. Pick a goal you’re suited for and go after it.
To belong you must share a common experience — the tougher the experience, the better.
Our parents were well intentioned but wrong: We can’t be whatever we want to be. We can all achieve amazing things, but we can’t do everything we set our minds to. Genetics, disposition, and luck play a part too.
The key is to know yourself and then work to be the best you can be based on your unique set of advantages and limitations.
Say you decide you want to run a marathon. Fine -- with enough training almost anyone is capable. But say you're a guy who weighs a muscular 250 pounds and you want to finish in less than 2 hours and 30 minutes. That's just not going to happen; you’re not made that way and the attempt will leave you discouraged, defeated, and unhappy.
What you achieve isn’t nearly as important as achieving something. Pick a goal you’re suited for and go after it.
You’re afraid of who you really are.
None of us really likes how we look. So we try to hide who we really are with the right makeup and the right clothes and the occasional BMW.
In the right setting and the right lighting... hey, we’re happy.
But not at the gym. Or the beach. Or when we have to run to the grocery store but feel self-conscious because we’re wearing ratty jeans and an old t-shirt and we haven’t showered and we think everyone is staring at us.
So we spend considerable time each day avoiding any situation that makes us feel uncomfortable about how we look or act. And that makes us miserable.
In reality no one really cares how we look... except us. (And maybe our significant others, but they’ve already seen us at our worst so that particular Elvis has definitely left the building.)
So do this. Undress and stand in front of the mirror.Take a good look. That’s who you are. Chances are you won't like what you see, but you'll probably also be surprised you don’t look as bad as you suspected.
Then, if you don’t like how you look, decide what you’re willing to do about it and start doing it. (Just don't ever compare yourself to other people; your only goal is to be a better version of the current you.)
Or, if you aren’t willing to do anything about how you look, that’s fine too. Move on. Let it go. Stop worrying about how you look. Stop wasting energy on something you don't care enough about to fix.
Either way, remember that while the only person who really cares how you look is you, many people care about the things you do.
Looking good is fun. Doing good makes you happy.
Author and Credits: Jeff Haden