We may have lots of friends… but how many people do you feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night if you need help? How many people can you tell almost anything… and you know they won’t laugh? How many people can you feel comfortable sitting with for a long time… without either of you speaking?
Most of us wear armor that protects us from insecurity. That armor also makes us lonely, and it’s impossible to be happy when you’re lonely.
Take off your armor and make some real friends. It’s easier than it sounds, because other people long to make real friends too. Don’t worry; they’ll like the real you. And you’ll like the real them.
And all of you will be much happier.
Most of what we do, especially professionally, is based on trying to maintain control: processes, guidelines, strategies… everything we plan and implement is designed to control the inherently uncontrollable and create a sense of security in a world filled with seemingly random occurrences.
Most of us wear armor that protects us from insecurity. That armor also makes us lonely, and it’s impossible to be happy when you’re lonely.
Take off your armor and make some real friends. It’s easier than it sounds, because other people long to make real friends too. Don’t worry; they’ll like the real you. And you’ll like the real them.
And all of you will be much happier.
Most of what we do, especially professionally, is based on trying to maintain control: processes, guidelines, strategies… everything we plan and implement is designed to control the inherently uncontrollable and create a sense of security in a world filled with seemingly random occurrences.
Eventually those efforts fall short, though, because structure never equals control. No matter how many guidelines we establish for ourselves, we often step outside them. (Otherwise we’d all be slim, trim, fit, and rich.) Budgets and diets and five-year plans fall apart and we get even more frustrated because we didn't achieve what we planned or hoped. To-do lists and comprehensive daily schedules are helpful, but you only make real progress towards a goal when it means something personal.
Decide what you really want to do and go after it. You'll feel a real sense of control because you really care.
And when you truly care -- about anything – you feel a lot happier.
You believe you no longer need to fail.
Whatever you choose to do, give it your all. Leave no room for excuses. Make sure you can only be judged on your merits – and that you will be found wanting.
Why? Failure isn't defeating. Failure is motivating.
Plus failure provides a healthy dose of perspective, helps us be more tolerant and patient, and helps us remember that we're a lot like the people around us.
Plus failure provides a healthy dose of perspective, helps us be more tolerant and patient, and helps us remember that we're a lot like the people around us.
When you realize you aren't so different or "special" after all, it's a lot easier to be happy with the people around you -- and happy with yourself.
Author and Credits: Jeff Haden