Most people think that if they are using the word “feel” in a sentence, then they are talking about their feelings. For example:
I feel like no one understands me.
I feel as though I am doing more than my co-workers.
I feel as if I am going crazy with all I have to do in my life.
Unfortunately, not one of these sentences has described how the person feels.
Whatever follows, “I feel like” , “I feel as though”, and “I feel as if” is just a thought, opinion or assumption.
What is missing in each sentence is a feeling. Feelings will generally fit into these five categories:
I feel like no one understands me.
I feel as though I am doing more than my co-workers.
I feel as if I am going crazy with all I have to do in my life.
Unfortunately, not one of these sentences has described how the person feels.
Whatever follows, “I feel like” , “I feel as though”, and “I feel as if” is just a thought, opinion or assumption.
What is missing in each sentence is a feeling. Feelings will generally fit into these five categories:
- Mad
- Sad
- Glad
- Bad – (typically guilty, jealousy, envious, etc.)
- Scared
Look At The Original Sentences Again With the Thought and a Feeling Added as below:
I think no one understands me, and I feel sad and fearful about not being understood.
I think I am doing more than my co-workers, and I feel manipulated, put upon, and undervalued.
I think I am going crazy with all I have to do for work, family, and myself, and I feel stressed, overwhelmed, and frazzled.
Now the sentences have both the thought and the feeling.
You will know that you are talking about your feelings if you process them from the five general categories, either the simple word or some degree of them.
Learning the difference between feelings and thoughts can help you communicate better and others understand you more.
Author and Credits: Marilyn L. Davis