Manners and Etiquette - An understanding

Our manners say much more about us than we realize.
  • They tell other people who you are.
  • How you were brought up.
  • What kind of family you have.
  • Your social economic status.
  • Your level of education.
  • The extent of your reading, travelling experiences.
  • What kind of person you are.
  • What do you think about all the time (are you a self-absorbed? Or are you considerate of the other person?).
  • Your level of self control, the way you handle conflict, what is it like to live with you...amongst other things.
Despite our insecurities, we can arise above all that and communicate a better sense of ourselves (as opposed to reality and history), with fine, elegant manners.

In other words, when you have fine manners, you can be who you want to be. You choose who you want to be. People won't even have a clue about lack of your education, wealth etc. They might even think 'way off'.

There are times we feel we aren't good enough. We aren't educated enough, sophisticated enough, or are embarrassed of your family's lack of resources. We didn't go to the right schools, hang out with the right people etc.

Despite all the above, you can rise beyond all that with the best, most beautiful, exquisite manners. That's Manners' little secret.

People probably assume you were educated at top schools. They'll like to be around you because of the way you make them feel. They'll feel impressed by and maybe even secretly admire you.

Whatever your social circle is, everyone likes someone who have manners. They like you. They want to be around you. They warm up to you. They think you're great.

You've become classy.

Manners are kindness. And people respond to kindness.

Speaking kindly to someone regardless, is a show of mutual respect or the recognition that we are all the same.

When you communicate with manners, you've considered the other person's thoughts and feelings. That is kindness. 
 
The old Biblical rule of “do as you would be done by” is sometimes used as an illustration of how manners are supposed to work.


The truth about manners ...manners is not etiquette.

Manners are the result of a kind heart. Etiquette is just an orderly way of doing things and a customary code of conduct of good behaviour.

Etiquette is like the Law but it is not the law.Have you ever tried reading etiquette books?

In general, etiquette are a list of (almost boring) rules. While some are helpful, it can get simply impossible to remember all of them.Manners, on the other hand, are a result of graciousness. Having manners is a sure tell-tale sign.

An elegant person, despite wearing a pretty dress, poised, looking gorgeous, falls fast from elegance when his/her face turns sour as he/she complains about everything. If you have manners first, etiquette will follow. Etiquette are well thought of rules that present an orderly way of doing things, as well as the most considerate, conflict-avoiding way.

Having manners is also about putting up with the lack of it in someone else.

Author and Credits: Eunice J Leong