Being courteous costs nothing but achieves a lot. It is a behavior that should be seen more often, because words spoken with softness, tact and courtesy are constructive, because an “I’m sorry”, a “please” or a “you first” are the perfume of kindness that many of us insist of continuing to practice.
That said, beyond seeing courtesy as a simple act of respect towards our fellow humans, we could say that it is something more than that. We are talking about a personal value, about a way of behaving where we create positive relationships through cordiality. Where recognition helps us to build a significant and perhaps even powerful kind of language.
That said, beyond seeing courtesy as a simple act of respect towards our fellow humans, we could say that it is something more than that. We are talking about a personal value, about a way of behaving where we create positive relationships through cordiality. Where recognition helps us to build a significant and perhaps even powerful kind of language.
“Courtesy shows tenderness without wimpiness, with humor and a way of knowing how to behave in any context” - Fernando Savater
In today's world, we’ve reached a point where courtesy effectively takes us by surprise and even causes mistrust. If we stop for a moment to analyze, we often experience a courteous act as something surprising. Why is this person being so kind to me? Are they flirting with me? Do they want something from me?
In today's world, we’ve reached a point where courtesy effectively takes us by surprise and even causes mistrust. If we stop for a moment to analyze, we often experience a courteous act as something surprising. Why is this person being so kind to me? Are they flirting with me? Do they want something from me?
This is a curious point that is worth reflecting on.
Courtesy costs nothing:
No-one can develop or apply authentic courtesy if they haven’t first experienced, felt and seen in their own skin how authentic acts of kindness and recognition of others are created. When we experience what it feels like to be taken into account by others, we can understand why it is so important to promote this same sensation in others.
Because courtesy costs nothing but achieves a lot.
The lack of kindness or courtesy creates environments of great negativity that interfere with human well-being and also with productivity. It is a germ with serious side-effects.
The neuro-economist Paul Zak. J explains that to improve our work and personal environments it is necessary to act with courtesy, kindness and recognition. Our brain reacts positively to unexpected acts of kindness. It secretes oxytocin which, beyond just being the hormone related to maternity and affection, is also defined as “the moral hormone”.
To achieve kinder environments, it’s not enough to just be courteous. Rudeness, lack of tact and lack of respect should not be allowed to happen. We need to put limits, vetos and warnings.
Experts in work psychology talk about establishing a psychological pact. Something along the lines of: “if you show me consideration and respect, you will get the best from me and I will get the best from you. We will both win. However, if you put me down, this circle of harmony breaks and we all lose.”
Kindness and courtesy are not just simple lessons to transmit to our children: it is much more than that. It is a way of life through which we can set an example to create a much more dignified world for everyone.
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